Refuge

Judgmental glares still call me nothing
Trying to break me each new day
So what if war is unbecoming?
Not that it matters now what anyone may say

This frozen castle is my refuge
Now they can't touch me, look and see it in these eyes
So what if I'm left with the refuse?
I'm fine alone; I make my home behind walls of ice

Anti-society is draining
Solitude's showing its effect
But still I'm safe; I'm not complaining
Besides, who can I trust enough to connect?

This hollow castle is my refuge
No one can touch me; you can't even see these eyes
Try as you may, you'll never get through
I'm satisfied, here where I hide, behind walls of ice

Connection-starved
I can't get far
Living this so-called "freedom" from a soul in shards

And so they fall
My precious walls
"Survival of the coldest" was worthless after all

This broken castle was my refuge
Where will I run now? There's no shelter I can find
You reach to touch; I just might let you
Now you can see right into me, through shattered ice

Imitation

For the girl I no longer know...


Now I'm just a tossed-out friend
Loyal to her spectre
Wishing things were as before
But still I can't forget her
Though she discarded all her ties
Her former face I still see
Changed beyond recognition
Gone's the girl I knew named...

She destroyed my only friend
This girl I thought I knew
Does this imposter understand
The hell she's put me through
She's imitation at her best
And it's more clear with time
I simply can't find any rest
When she haunts my mind

And so girl I'd called a friend
It seems is now a stranger
Why can't I just ignore her face,
Knowing who replaced her?
I can't continue to abide
Poisoned affection in me
Now I can only ask myself
Who is this girl named...

She destroyed...

I hate that I still wish for times gone by
And seeing once again the friend I loved has long been dead
I don't recognize the one behind her eyes
As all my memories of her turn to regret


She destroyed...

Blindside

My laughter comes from irony
And it's through sarcasm I breathe
Though it may seem a bit pretentious

Yet somehow I begin to find
I always miss it when it's mine
Until it's too late to prevent it

Situations have always shown
That I should have already known
What would happen far before it blew up in my face

Irony is my amusement, yet my enemy
I must concede it's so confusing, to miss what I of all people should see
A smartass shouldn't get caught up in poetic defeats
O why does irony blindside me?

Again I'm lovestruck like a fool
And I can't seem to play it cool
So she determines I'm just creepy

And once I see where I went wrong
I put repentance into song
But even more she'd rather never see me

I tell this girl who can't stand me
To call it my apology
But once again it all just blows up in my face

Irony is...

It seems that I've boxed myself in
Time to break my limits again
And finally find a new inspiration

Yet obligation comes today
To once again make my muse pain
And so my plan develops complications

After this come ire and love
And I wonder, is this a sign from above
That things will still continue to just blow up in my face?

Irony is...

Guidelines

For Tyler, Justin, and various others from back home.


Such is your claim
That you speak in the Name
That embodies peace
Yet daily you wage war with me

Self-righteous eyes
Tell me that I'm despised
He said "Show love to all,"
But you just want to watch me crawl

You think I'm shaking, and I'm breaking;
Well you're mistaken
I'm simply sickened by this
Twisted game you're playing
You think you're better
Because of your holy shelter
You live to serve your tradition to its very letter

You say that action shows your faith
But laws you follow all prove fake
You see this Word of God as man-amended guidelines

You make it clear what you expect:
No questions, just a blind respect
You call me hypocrite, but isn't that still my line?

Who are you to say how I'm defined?

You can't believe
That I don't agree
You think I live in sin
Because I break commands that don't exist

Your "love" assumes
Because you don't approve
That somehow it's my place
To suffer a pariah's fate

You think I'm breaking...

You say that...